Keys to Being a Happy Family – Happy people have their energy sources to make things go well for them. These are some simple tricks to make life with children more accessible and for everyone, parents, and children, to learn to be happier.
You must avoid that stress prevents you from being next to your loved ones. For the Happy Family to be united, it is essential to spend time together. Enjoying leisure will help you bond with them, sharing tasks and obligations.
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When things aren’t going smoothly, it’s time to tap into our energy reserves.
How to do it?
You need a large cardboard, paper, colors, a brush, magazines, catalogs, glue and scissors. The child can paste cutouts of everything that makes him happy on the cardboard, or he can paint it. It seems silly, but if we try it, we will be surprised by the result: let’s have the children make a poster about ‘what works for me when it goes wrong.
It is essential not to interfere when the little one is looking for a way to relax. Everyone has to discover for themselves what is good for them. It wouldn’t be too bad if parents also made a poster of ‘what’s good for me when it’s terrible.
Children’s anger, pain, and sadness do not go away on their own, although parents would like it to be that easy. The opposite happens. Sometimes, if we ignore them, these feelings become more intense, and it will be more difficult for all involved to manage them. We must:
Accept our son’s feelings and try to understand why he feels that way. He may be stressed because they demand a lot of him at school, because of problems with his friends, or because he does not have enough things in his life to make his existence happy.
Thinking about our own experiences will help us understand how we feel. We must let him know that we know him and sympathize with him without giving in to the temptation to give him advice.
When he has calmed down, we will try to find appropriate ways to express those feelings. For example, if in a fight with a friend, our son gets so upset that he kicked him, we will help him to overcome the feeling of anger, and we will show him how to behave better next time.
Although sometimes it seems to us that our children are constantly fighting, most of the time, it is better not to interfere and let them solve their problems on their own. Children who are free to settle their differences learn to assert themselves, negotiate and make peace sooner. Here are some tips that can assist you:
Stay out of his line of sight. In this way, you will avoid ‘pretend’ fights, in which children can harm each other only to provoke the intervention of an adult.
When one of the brothers always loses, you must act. In that case, you must confirm to the strongest his physical superiority and teach him to use his strength to help others, not to impose his will.
Each child should have a circle of friends. Siblings can play together, but they don’t have to.
It is important to dedicate at least an hour and a half exclusively a week to each of the children. This dedication will make him feel more loved and bring him emotional balance. The child must realize that this time is only for him, even if we do some homework in the meantime.
We must think very well if strictly necessary to say ‘no.’ If it is not suitable, it is better to let the child do it. You will be surprised how well it fixes itself and how much calm this rule brings to our lives.
On his birthday, it would be a lovely gift to write our son a letter recounting the most important events, his progress, and his favorite activities throughout the year. When you turn 18, as a special gift, we can bind all the letters in the form of a book. In this way, the child will have a very individual version of his life story.
First step:
Make a list of household chores and give each Happy Family member a copy. Next to each task, the person who decides to take it on will write their name.
Second step:
Each one writes next to the work if…
Likes.
He doesn’t like it too much.
He doesn’t like it at all.
Third step:
All members of the Happy Family essential give their opinion and value the works that they have not marked. It is time to exchange tasks or reach agreements. As for the jobs that nobody wants to do, it is recommended to establish shifts. You can change the functions from time to time so that they go through everyone without anyone feeling discriminated against for being the only one who has had it.
Fourth step:
An agreement is reached regarding the period to assume the new tasks. Opinions are then exchanged, and, if necessary, changes and improvements are made.
Fifth step:
Many find more responsible jobs, such as loading and unloading the washing machine, taking care of plants, or cooking, more attractive. They also love everything related to bills and money. It will be calmer for the children to comply with what was agreed if the degree of difficulty of the tasks rises from time to time, that is, not always ordering them things like taking out the garbage or drying the dishes.
Role-playing games can teach our children to deal with difficult situations in life. To do this, briefly recount a somewhat complicated situation, similar to the one currently worrying the child. You can change the names of the people or places involved to make it more abstract.
For example: ‘We are going to play recess. You are a boy who would love to play soccer, but the ball is mine, and I don’t want you to play with us. What would you do?’
Boredom is part of children’s daily routine. Our role is to spend those moments with them.
Those periods when you don’t know what to do give a lot of room to be creative, but that doesn’t mean they’re easy: boredom causes unpleasant feelings and makes children nervous and whiny.
If your little one can bear the inner tension, he will eventually try to remedy the situation independently.
Out of these little moments, things as extraordinary as a multi-story dollhouse made out of shoe boxes can emerge.
In the day-to-day the children’s education, it is necessary to react quickly. We offer you some symbolic aids that can guide you:
Always have a compass handy. It points us in the right way and keeps our education on track even under high stress. To have it, we must set the educational and relationship goals that we want to achieve and think about what path can take us towards that goal.
Hit the pause button. In theory, it means acting consciously rather than reacting automatically. In practice, it amounts to waiting a moment and wondering: What is going on here? How should I respond?
The word ‘first’ is essential in education. ‘Before playing in the living room, first, collect the toys from your room.’ ‘Before going out, first, you have to put on your boots.’ With this type of instruction, we help our son organize his daily life and know in what order to do the tasks.
Logically, the question is to know how much time has to pass before the corresponding structure has been formed in the child’s head. The part of the brain that contains functions like planning, organizing, making decisions, and setting priorities is the last to develop. This organizational structure won’t settle in a child’s head until they are older.
Until then, we will have no choice but to insist and repeat the same thing to them every day.
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